Archive for the ‘Portraits & Profiles’ Category

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www.comingoutofdark.com launched

May 2, 2010

Hello everyone,

I thought I better post this in case many are still visiting this blog for updates.  Coming Out Of The Dark has moved to its own domain.

http://comingoutofdark.com/

Check it out!

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CHARMAINE LOVERIN MAKING A DIFFERENCE FOR CHILDREN

December 13, 2009

Hero

Hero - Charmaine Loverin, Artist

Part 1 – Photographs of Charmaine Loverin explaining the story & feeling behind her art projects.

Part 2 – Charmaine Loverin – Loving My Sinner, Hating His Sin

Charmaine Loverin is a talented and expressive artist in many forms and uses her art as a vehicle, through her history of being sexually abused; she supports organizations that have helped her.   “I volunteer; I use my art as fundraising opportunities in their events,” she explains.  “I’ll do anything to help raise funds and awareness to organizations that matter closely to my experience.”

Loverin expressing herself through her art, working with charity organizations and most importantly her two children keep her hanging on in this life.  “I’ve been to a place where I have come close to giving up and this was back when I charged my dad,” Loverin admits.  “It was okay for me to leave life; but now that I’m a mom it’s zero acceptable. There is no mistake that I am a mom and if I weren’t, yes it’s an easy out thought, what would I do? Where would I be? I don’t know if I’d hang on as strong as I am.” Her children bring such joy and are a reminder of what is possible in life, “I think I live so vicariously through my children,” she says, “everything from such an innocent perspective is just delicious. We are here for a purpose so why not live it vibrantly?”

As an advocate in moving Holly’s Law, Loverin got close to the family and says the experience was rewarding on many levels. “At the public safety announcement of this law,” she explains, “I was invited by the CCCAA (Canadian Centre for Abuse Awareness) to be a speaker and share as a Survivor at how courageous and important it is to be a voice in abuse.”  Holly’s Law is a mandatory, preventative, educational package made available to all school children. This program was designed to arm kids with the tools needed, to identify and deal with childhood sexual abuse. http://www.ccfaa.com/images/documents/Hollys-Law.pdf

Loverin speaks to schools about her experiences and how we can be a voice in something that we know is not correct as a child.  What we can do and who we can turn to, when we know this is not the way it’s supposed to be in life, to turn to police officers, kids help phone and teachers.  “I also know that the ones we are supposed to trust are sometimes ones we can’t turn to,” says Loverin.  “It’s being aware of that situation because 3 out of 5 kids who are sexually abused are abused by someone they are supposed to trust.”

Charmaine Loverin's Cards

Charmaine Loverin's Card Projects

With that knowledge she developed a program called I Have Something to Say…” that is a card series which assists in distinguishing who to trust. “I want to bring to the schools to the parents and to us as role models, what does trust actually look like?” “I Have Something To Say” have moved onto a fundraising opportunity for Kids help phone and their future’s campaign. http://org.kidshelpphone.ca/en/donate/futures-campaign/

“I Have Something To Ask…” was generated from “I Have Something To Say…” A Women’s Network, “Positive Fabulous Women” was holding an event based on the theme “Ask” because a high ratio of women statistically does not ask for what they want. “It was quite a moving night,” reflects Loverin, “the “I Have Something To Ask…” cards have 4 questions all relating to trust, for example, “Can I trust you?” Each question was made by my daughter, another question is “Do you keep your promises?”

Loverin has worked with the Out Of The Cold organization for 3 years and for the holiday season is donating proceeds from her Christmas cards to them.  She will also be serving and playing the piano with her children on Christmas Day at OTCC. For those unfamiliar to Out Of The Cold, it is an organization built by community and volunteers providing safe refuge, hospitality and emergency shelter to the homeless community throughout the City of Toronto http://www.ootc.ca/

“We are so fortunate to have what we have in life no matter how big or small, it takes only one person to make a world of difference for someone,” says Loverin.  “During these economic times I understand how sparingly things can get and suggest people participate the best way they know how – The Gift of Giving has limitless rewards!” – By Diane Foy

Carmaine Loverin on Piano

Carmaine Loverin on Piano

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CHARMAINE LOVERIN “LOVING MY SINNER, HATING HIS SIN”

December 13, 2009

Part 1 – Photographs of Charmaine Loverin explaining the story & feeling behind her art projects.

Part 3 – Charmaine Loverin Making  A Difference For Children

Dream Big

Dream Big - Charmaine Loverin, Artist

Canadian artist, Charmaine Loverin is preparing for what she hopes will be a major shift in conversations about child sexual abuse offenders.  She dares to say that since abuse starts with the abuser, if treatment was available, child sexual abuse can be stopped.  In what is sure to be a widely discussed book, “Loving My Sinner, Hating His Sin” Loverin takes on that challenge and shares her own story of being sexually abused and the process of charging and ultimately forgiving her father.

While currently seeking a publisher for the book, Loverin has a goal to have it printed and published by May 12, 2010.  “It tells the story of how I got to where I got in charging my offender,” she explains “and having my life the way it looks like today, no matter if it looks successful or challenging.  It answers the question, how can I be so shameless and open with my life?”

While consulting with experts, Loverin is now working with offenders, who are creating new and better lives due to getting treatment and stopping abuse.  “Would I say then at the same time do I trust them?” asks Loverin, “Absolutely not, it’s like putting a bottle of booze in front of an alcoholic; you don’t put a child in front of a abuser.”  Some wonder how she could possibly do this work being a survivor herself.  “Believe me, it takes strength as a victim to walk beside an offender and not come from a place of reaction or anger,” she explains.  “It really takes something to give up that area because where does it all start, bottom line?  It all starts with the offender.

Now with this book, “holy shift of conversation” says Loverin, “it’s going to be a huge shift for people to consider that offenders are creating new and better lives by being treated and stopping abuse.”  Loverin and many organizations continue to support the victims and survivors, yet also look at what’s not available for the offenders.  “That is really important for me to get out there is that there is no treatment for the offenders,” she states. “Not to justify their actions, I’m not here to say what they have done is right, because we have to create our own boundaries and protect ourselves from the offenders.”

Through her father getting treatment, Loverin made the decision to forgive him and surprisingly allows him to be in her children’s life.  “They are in my dads life around boundaries that I have created and what is legally created with him too because he was charged, says Loverin. “Why do I want him in my life?  Because after 8 years of not speaking to him, I felt that this man, who was the fun parent outside of what happened to me with him, if I never spoke to him again, I would actually regret that.”

Loverin works with a psychotherapist, who works with offenders in the federal prisons and opened up to her that offenders don’t have treatment available and they can’t get treatment because there is no funding on their own background of abuse.  Therefore, Rockwood Psychology goes into the jail systems themselves and provides treatment, therapy and supports an organization called Circles of Accountability and Support where they set up communities for the offenders.

“They make the community aware that the offenders are here justifiably so, so we can protect and move forward with this new identity that we can all go on,” says Loverin. “It’s like being a victim; wouldn’t you want to go on with a new and better life?  It’s the same conversation, except for you know what?  This asshole has done what he has done.   It doesn’t justify it, only put an equal conversation, because I know they are two profoundly different things, a bottle and a baby or child, but you know what?  It’s an addiction.  It is possible to stop child sex abuse so I’m riding on this book to dare I say so and cause a shift in that conversation.” – By Diane Foy

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Artist Charmaine Loverin

December 10, 2009

Canadian Artist and Child Sexual Abuse Survivor/Activist Charmaine Loverin explains her latest 3 piece canvas artwork and the “I Have Something To Ask…” Project.  Photography By Diane Foy

Part 2 – Charmaine Loverin Loving My Sinner, Hating His Sin

Part 3 – Charmaine Loverin Making  A Difference For Children

Visit Charmaine Loverin’s Website